Hi my name is Alex and when I was searching through Yahoo for celibate sites, I came upon yours and I'm glad I did.

I've been celibate for 7 years and VERY proud of it. At first I guess it was involuntary,but it progressed to where I just didn't want to have sex. I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend and then after she and I broke up(after 3 years) I didn't have intercourse with anyone else until 3 years later and I haven't had intercourse since then.

I now have a girlfriend in another country. It can be difficult at times because I'm an affectionate person and I can't be with her,but she and I are still hanging on.She's still a virgin(she says, but you never know) and she's 24, so I really don't know how she feels about sex because she always avoids the subject. But for some reason, it doesn't bother me if she and I never have sex. Honestly it doesn't.

I've been dancing for 10 years now and I never knew that you could meet someone in a club, go home and have sex with them (I always thought that's what bars were for). So I would get all this female attention when I would dance. I didn't know some of these girls wanted to go home with me or whatever. I would just be a nice polite guy and go about my business. If I would happen to see one of these girls at another time,they would be cold or rude. It dawned on me that since I didn't make advances towards them, they felt rejected. Some of the girls could be VERY mean and VERY cruel to the point that I really couldn't be around women for a long time. And if I were around women, I would have such a negative attitudes towards them, I would drive them away.(Which is subconciously what I wanted to do!)

To make things worse, I'm a sensitive guy, so being celibate and then feeling bad because I WOULDN'T try to sleep with someone really had me messed up. Of course I became depressed, had thoughts of suicide. I even considered being castrated. (once I tried to do it myself!) That was a real low point in my life. But one day I defined what I wanted from a female. I set guidelines for me, just like girls had set when they set out to find a guy and it made things much clearer.

I realized I LOVE being celibate, but I also love being affectionate with a girl. I stop "beating myself up" over the fact that I just didn't want to have sex. I accepted that fact that a lot of people have different views than I do, but I'm not less of a person or more of one, just different.

Right now, I'm trying to get more female friends and I really don't have any male friends because they'll put more pressure on me than women will. There's a guy I know and we used to be friends,but no more. It got to the point where all he would talk about was sex and it made me so sick, I've been slowly distancing myself from him.

Sure, I like talking about sex, I write erotic stories and things like that, but I take the sex energy and use it for something else as opposed to trying to get laid all the time. And the female friends I have like being around me because they know how I am and they know how much my celibacy and my girlfriend mean to me. I do kiss and hold and hug my female friends sometimes and I used to feel some guilt because of my girlfriend. But seeing that she's thousands of miles away, I've been celibate for 7 years, only made love to 2 women my entire life, and the fact that I'm incredibly affectionate, I think I'm holding up well! *smile*

So now my dancing is more sexy and erotic than ever. And if some girl gets excited over it, hey, it's not my fault, I just tell them it's dancing! I wish the best for anyone else who's celibate. It's okay, you know? Sex is just everywhere and it's difficult to ignore it, so don't. Take that energy and use it for something constructive where you know it's not anything you'll regret. There are times I wonder if I had slept with this girl or that girl, how would I be now? But chances are I might have taken sex for granted, lost my affection and NEVER would've met my girlfriend. So I can FINALLY say I'm happy with being celibate.
Thank you.