Involuntary Celibacy Humour and Miscellanea

"It's like male geeks don't know how to deal with real live women, so they just assume it's a user interface problem. Not their fault. They'll just wait for the next version to come out - something more 'user friendly'." - Douglas Coupland, Microserfs

Geek codes include the code !r (never had a relationship) and variants. See www.geekcode.com.

Emotional Intelligence test (and IQ tests, etc.)

LoserNet Supersite

The Monk's Guide to Dating

The Platonic Friends' Page

Cartoon - 'User Friendly'

'Nice Guys Don't Get Laid' by Marcus Pierce Meleton Jr.
- A mailing list member says: "I was really disappointed with this book, since the reviews led me to believe that it contained advice. In fact it was done in humour. Nonetheless, the humour was good. The author says that some of the things in it are based upon events that really happened to him. Worth reading if you want a look at the humorous side of our predicament."

An Invcel's Prayer at Christmas

Dear Lord,

Thank you for allowing me to succesfully protect my virginity for yet another year. While other people were engaged in disgustingly sinful sexual perversions like cuddling and kissing, I was, no doubt because of Your intercession on my behalf, protected from such abominations and fully expect and hope that You will be my protector in the coming year as well. I would also like to ask that You give the gift of involuntary celibacy to all my enemies so that they too might enjoy the hours of solitude which have provided me with a searing awareness of Your awesome presence. Finally, thank you for blinding me to all the sex-crazed vixens who have thrown themselves at me over the years. No doubt I would have given into their evil designs if not for Your Grace.

The Incel Book of Days

Groundhog Day (February 2) has been associated for thousands of years (as the old Celtic holiday of Imbolc) with the archetype of renewal/rebirth/purification
February 14 is obviously the highest holiday, International Celibacy Awareness Day
Given that June is the month of most weddings, and thus the month many of us have to watch a lot of other people culminate relationships while we go without, I officially propose June as incel Ramadan ;)
or Perhaps we could call it Incel Lent and only agree to attend weddings or give celebratory hugs if they fall on a Friday
The last day of May we call the Feast of the Virgins with requisite carnival and parades

'Part of my family motto:
"Oppress, Repress, Depress!" Our coat of arms features a lion impaling himself on the horn of a unicorn while the oblivious unicorn watches Jerry Springer on a television sinister.'

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do *anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."