Safety issues
Understanding Others' Concerns:
There's several things to understand about why people behave the way they do. Someone who doesn't know you has every reason to be suspicious. This is very similar in some respects to meeting Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The first type of safety a woman needs is physical safety, then social safety, conversational safety, and finally emotional safety. I'll discuss each one in turn.
Physical Safety:
I think this one is pretty obvious, but a lot of people over look it. When I was a street person, I literally saw houswives lock their car door when I walked by. I looked sketchy. To some degree or other, you should make an effort to conform. For younger people, longer hair and wilder appearences are probably alright. If you act excessively nervous, she may become worried you are contemplating something criminal. If you come across as too smooth, this could also work against you.
Don't stand too close, and don't invade her personal space. Don't grab her arm and fondle her--and I personaly don't feel good about this new so called grinding.
Social Safety:
This is less exact than physical safety. What this means is: will she be embarrassed to be seen with you? If she is immature or superficial, and you're not someone her friends would turn green over, she may be so concerned about what other people think--that she will block out the possibility of any interaction.
There's not too much anyone can do about this, except realize that instead of blaming this on yourself, you should realize that more than likely, this is the actual nature of the situation. The solution is not to choose women like this in the first place. This particular need depends on how much of an individual this person is and how important the approval of her peers is.
Many people would rather die than admit this type of concern, but it is none the less very important to both men and women. I think also men are quite guilty of this. Often, a man will be interested in a woman as a trophy, and has no real interest in a particular woman. He imagines other envious guys--not romantic dates. This is where a great deal of the "looks" issue comes in from both sexes.
The next point of social safety is being able to back out of a situation gracefully. Too many men don't know how to take a hint as far as backing off, and many women who are not interested will go along up to a point, rather than make a scene. But sooner or later they will make a scene if pushed far enough. Women want some way to know you will not put them into an embarrassing situation.
Lots of men will follow a woman around a bar or party. When she says: I have to refresh my drink, I have to go to the ladies room, I have to go talk to a friend I just saw, she is trying to gracefuly end the situation. Take the hint. You will show her that you are not clingy and needy, and make no mistakes, other people will be watching to see if you handle the hint gracefully.
Always be aware that at a social function, you will be performing and you have an audience. Show all of them you do not detain people or use high pressure tactics.
Conversational Safety:
She also doesn't want to be pressured. This is another form of social embarrassment. Do not suddenly turn the conversation to cheesy pick up lines, when you were having a perfectly good conversation. You're showering her and any one who happens to see you, that after all, you have no respect for what she says and how she feels. Some men turn the conversation towards sex with either the idea they are acting worldly or sophisticated or it will turn her on. In 90% of the cases, she is probably embarrassed, unless she's a psychology major--in which case it might be a normal topic of conversation.
Steer clear of embarrassing her like this. Avoid telling her personal information like your chinchilla just died, your parents had six divorces, etc.. Giving personal details of a sensitive nature is really a burden to an acquaintance. Be thoughtful enough to keep it to yourself. Keep the conversation away from controversy. No one wants to get backed into an embarrassing and emotional political debate, or religious zeal. Make no heavy commments about cynical thoughts or how much society sucks--and refrain from conspiracy theories unless she brings it up.
Don't cross examine someone about personal information, or ask things which are simply too personal. Compliments are tricky and at least until I'm on familiar territory, I don't give any. You may end up making her feel very akward. Leave openings for her to speak, and try and steer the conversation towards her, or subjects she is interested in--and don't trap her into listening to a boring monologue.
Emotional Safety:
Some men feel like after knowing a woman for some period of time and developing what they believe are deep feelings for them--somehow they have to confess their feelings, and even more naively think she will suddenly confess the same. This does not end up the way it does in Hollywood in front of a camera. It ends up in emotional embarrassment.
If you have to tell someone, buy a dog or a cat. Another type of emotional safety issue is not criticizing her when she is sensitive about the way she looks. Being completely honest because she said she wanted the truth is a big mistake. Be careful to never bring up sensitive issues out of context, like during an argument or in public.
Some things are so sensitive, you should never bring them up unless she does first. As much as people say they like someone unpredictable, being worried about being emotionally hurt is not the place to keep anyone guessing.